Everything can be taken from a man but the last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one’s attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way.– Viktor Frankl, “Man’s Search for Meaning.”
As the quote above suggests that you can take everything away from a human being but not his ways to react to a situation and how he chooses his actions.
In modern times, the pressure on an individual from all spheres of life is immense, and therefore, the emotional issues, and ignorance towards them have increased.
Anger, frustration, and hostility are the most common of all worries surrounding the world today. In your personal life, you may still be able to get away with the way you reacted, but professionally, the way you react and behave in situations determines how successful you will be.
There are ten thousand situations that could make you angry, but there are also ten thousand ways to handle the situation and come out as a winner.
So here are a few tips you can keep in mind for the next time you want to kill your boss or that co-worker who keeps getting on your nerves.
1. Distract yourself:
Over the years, I have developed this coping mechanism which really helps me in situations of real anger. I just choose to distract myself when in a tough situation.
So you’re wondering do I just start doing something else or what? No, I’m not asking you to escape the situation but 5 seconds or a 30 seconds break.
So the next time you feel angry, just change the conversation, say you’re getting a call, and then get back to the situation.
2. Think about the consequences:
I know this seems like a very preachy idea, but it’s not so. Whenever you are raging with anger, try to calm down and think about the consequences that you may face in case you choose to behave unprofessionally of arrogantly.
Those few seconds of your anger might affect years of your career. Anger is a spontaneous reaction, and I don’t think you would want something as important as your career to be ruined because of a single spontaneous decision.
3. Realize outburst will not solve anything:
The sooner you understand and follow this, the better it will be. Understand and ingrain it in your mind that logic rules everything.
Understand that your outburst will not solve anything but only create more problems rather if you think logically, sort your thoughts out and then present it to the other person then it will be helpful.
It is very easy to shout or scream at someone in anger. However, it is very difficult to repair the damage which those few words did to the person you showed you anger upon.
4. Understand the other person’s perspective:
It’s very important for you to understand that it’s not only you who might be getting angry and frustrated. You get angry whenever there is a disagreement, or something doesn’t go according to your expectations.
Think about the other person’s point of view; maybe they are correct from the way they are looking at the situation. Understand the other person, and then you may not feel angry at all.
5. Have a glass of water:
Water is not only what 70% of the human body is made up of but also what actually calms us down.
When we’re angry, upset or in a bad mood, the water levels in our body fluctuate, and that’s why the best thing to do when you’re angry is to drink water which will calm you down and help you think logically.
6. Connect the past with the present:
It’s very important for you to understand how in the past, reacting has affected you and what have been the consequences.
Understand that what mistakes you made in the past are to be learned from and not repeated. Connect your past with your present and then choose your actions.
7. Look for positivity:
Make a mental list of positives and negatives. Doing this in case you find too much negativity tries to look through them in a positive manner. Just think about how you can work with positives and rule the situation.
8. Try not to vent to co-workers:
So you are triumphing over the fact that you did not react to the situation and handled it well. But you start discussing with your co-workers about the other person or the situation then don’t pat yourself on the back.
This act will not solve your problems but maybe increase them. Keep your thoughts to yourself and let it go.
9. Don’t walk out of the situation:
If you think that by walking out of the situation, you’re handling the situation, then you’re completely wrong because it portrays you as a child and a person who is too high headed to respect the situation, so stand your ground and solve the situation.
10. Don’t close the chain of communication:
Even if you come out of the situation without solving it, don’t hold a grudge, understand you need to work with the person, and you can’t close the chain of communications and just ignore the person.
So next time, you feel angry, do keep these tricks and tips in your mind and utilize them!
And the best practice which might be known to everyone is that whenever in a state of anger try to calm down and count in reverse up to 10. By the time you reach 1, your anger would be long gone.