One of these nights, you were lying comfortably in your bed, eating pizza while listening to your favorite song or maybe you were reading your book or idly stalking *ahem* I mean, looking through people’s Instagram or Facebook profiles when a message notification pops up your cell phone and who else could it be but your ex! *cue dramatic music* *Dhandhandhaaaaa* Looks like they want to get back together.
They realized they made a mistake and want you back because you were the best thing to happen to them and now you’re wondering. Should you? Should you not? Well, the decision is entirely yours.
Here are a few things you should keep in mind:
1. What led to the breakup?
People break up for various reasons. There is no right or wrong reason, but you need to think about what led you two to break up and to ask yourself if those reasons have changed.
You could have broken up in the middle of a heated argument, or it was just the clashing of your rage that led you to call it to quit or something very menial but if the reasons were more than just a spat, consider weighing the pros and cons.
2. Who broke up with whom?
Was it a mutual decision or either of you did the breaking up? If you left your partner, there was a reason for that. Think about it, analyze your reasons over and over again and come to a conclusion only then.
If they did the breaking up, think about whether you can let it go and start over.
3. How did the breakup make you feel?
After the breakup, what feelings have you left of it? Did you feel free? Happy? Sad? Relieved? Sometimes we know things subconsciously but refuse to accept them so before taking any rash decisions do weigh in your emotions and feelings about the entire situation.
4. Was your decision to get back together with a thought out process or an instantaneous one?
Again, breakups can happen due to various reasons. Think about whether the break up was a childish mistake on either of your parts or a result of something long-drawn or something that you felt was due for long. Don’t just rush into things just because it seems too romantic or too emotional right now.
Think about the past and the reasons which brought your separation the first place. Realizing this you would automatically figure out whether getting back is a smart choice or not.
5. What do the people close to you have to say?
Friends and family, the people closest to us know us a lot better than we might know ourselves so it would be a wise thing to consult them.
These are the people who analyze and judge the people who enter our lives. They would probably know what the other person might be up to (Facebook stalking! Duh! ) and can also give you their genuine opinion on the matter.
6. How invested were you in your relationship?
There’s’ no denying that a relationship takes work and is in no way as easy as eating cake. You invest your time and emotions in person so when a relationship wilts it does hurt.
However, not all the “love stories” end up like a Nicholas Sparks novel and there’s no pressure for them to either. So when you consider giving your relationship a second chance, think about whether you were Marshall Erickson or Barney Stinson of your relationship.
7. Why does your ex-want to get back?
Out of the blue, you see them coming to you and asking you to come back? What? Everything happens for a reason; there was a reason for your breakup and there must be a reason for them to want you back.
The reason could be a genuine one, or it could be just them feeling lonely or using you like a comfortable option to come back to because well, let’s be honest, there’s comfort in familiarity.
So give it a thorough thought and don’t get back into the situation from where you had just escaped.
8. Is your mind playing tricks or do you really have feelings left for them?
We all know how one message from a person can bring back a lot of memories and fill you up with sweet, sweet nostalgia but that doesn’t mean you’ll feel that way all the time.
It’s better not to make hasty decisions and make a sound judgment. One has to realize that just being attracted to someone and being in a relationship with someone are two different things.
You might be attracted to a person, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be in a relationship with them. You need to realize soon enough that what you have is a feeling or a mere attraction.
9. Will he/she fit back into your life?
We’re not the same people we were before. Breakups do change people, and then life happens, and you move on, make progress so what might have been okay for you yesterday might not even fly with you today so think that as well.
10. Have you been listening to sad, Arijit Singh songs recently?
Have you? Those songs can get to you. DO NOT think about Tum Saath ho because tum Saath Nahi ho and that your Kabira just might not be good enough for you to think, “chaahun main yana?”.
Therefore, before getting back with your ex and giving them a second chance consider each of these factors which would allow you to make a sound as well as a healthy judgment.