The feeling of falling in love for the first time is overwhelming and compelling. Scientist says that first love is essential, it forms your perception and defines your future love life.
Having said that in our current lifestyle, our first love is nothing like love. When you find someone attractive, you feel you are in love with that person.
Does this mean that your first love was not your actual love? No, and yes. It was a different love. It was a simpler, less-informed immature kind of love. And because of various factors, it has a short lifespan.
Not because it’s not possible to love someone, but because those overwhelming feelings that you experience in your first love do not actually love. They are the consequences of the remarkable changes in your life.
Here we divulge the primary reasons for the why first love relation rarely works:
1. The idea of being in love:
Almost all of us experience the feeling of first love at a young age when we are not even sure about what it means to be in love or relationship. Consumed by high emotion, we are more in love with the idea of being in love.
2. The period of excitement:
When you are in love and young, there is naivety, lack of experience, and ignorance. You feel like you are in the dream world. The adolescence age is such that you want to search for your identity. One intends to go with the flow. It feels surreal. A real relationship is based on shared goals and trust. It’s not only about physical intimacy.
Infatuation is hormonal madness. First love is more of a crush than love. You may find yourself infatuated, but as strong as you feel and emotional you become, it definitely dies down after a period.
4. For immature first love:
Studies say that first love is important for your growth; In a young age, love is passionate, emotional, and full of life. The butterflies in the tummy, thinking about the person all the time. These euphoric feelings hide the personality of the person you love. Dating requires a lot of maturities; you should know how to balance someone else’s needs with your needs. Sometimes because of either side of immaturity, the relationship doesn’t work out, that’s alright because it’s part of growing up.
5. Friendship is love:
In teenagers, we often confuse friendship and love. In all the films we watch, it is conveyed that first love is the last love and you cannot forget your first love blah blah blah……
In fact, dating a best friend may jeopardize your relation, and chances are pretty high of losing your friend. There are some fortunate ones who find true love in their friend, however, for some, it might not work out.
6. Changes in personality:
We all change as individuals during our teens to early adult life. Just think how much you have evolved as a person when you fell in love and after a period.
Sometimes first love breaks up due to the change of college when either of you migrates to another country or another city. Your attitude and also your outlook towards life changes rapidly.
So no matter how much you love someone at one point, eventually you realize the relationship is not going to work out.
7. The pressures to do well in life:
With your teachers and parents nagging all the time asking you to focus on education, and also looking at all the competition, everyone doing so well in studies and other activities, makes you separate your ways.
The pressure is always there to compete and excel that takes a toll in your young love life, and a relationship in the nascent stage does not survive this pressure.
You both thought that your love story would last until the end. However, because of pressure and circumstance, first love rarely endures.
8. Peer pressure:
Many times in the current scenario just out of peer pressure you tend to force yourself to fall in love, without knowing the reason or repercussion.
In the process, you actually are not in a relationship, so you don’t allow it to nurture or give enough time or importance.
And when the first flush of romance phase is gone you lose interest in the relationship, and your so-called first love is gone.
Every relationship has its lows and highs. But our first love puts us in contact with and consideration of our own expectations from our partner.
It guides us what we’re looking for in an ideal partner. And due to lack of maturity and experience, it is rare that you will find a life partner in your first love.
10. The law of opposites attracts:
Initially, it is very exciting to find out a different aspect of another person, and in fact, you are attracted because of its oppositeness.
Nevertheless, if you don’t think alike in some core values or ethics this opposite attracts becomes the hindrance to a relationship.